I got back from taking Michael to the dentist today and I find my children in my room. Mike is half asleep and the kids are eating oreos. Nutrious breakfast huh? Luckily I made Maddy an egg sandwich before I left but Morgan wasn't awake yet. There he was sitting there in nothing but a diaper covered in choclate goodness. Mike says please take them they wont let me sleep @@ That is because you are not supposed to sleep while they are awake do-do. At least he had the door shut so they couldn't get out of the room and burn the house down. Maybe I would have came home to a homecooked meal though, they are pretty talented.
The real reason I had to blog today is this- Women it is not ok to wear a shower cap in public!!!! I don't care what reason you have, they make plenty of other headwear. It is called a SHOWER cap for a reason dumb ass. I mean these people have to look in the mirror before they leave the house. And on top of that they have these huge hoop earrings in their ears with their name brand tight ass jeans on, and their lip gloss is popping LOL. And then the shower cap. If I just saw one person I probably wouldn't think anything of it but it seems like everytime I go out I see someone wearing.
So let's just make a list of the top ten things that are not ok to wear in public.
10. Slippers. Just put on some regular shoes. No one wants to hear you dragging your feel in your bunny slippers.
9. Pajamas. I don't care if it is 2 a.m. on the first of the month and you are at Wal-mart. You dragged all your kids out of the bed because you couldn't wait until the next day to grocery shop, put some damn clothes on!
8. If your ass cheeks are hanging out of your shorts, then they are probably too short.
7. A diaper. Yes that is right parents, put some clothes on your child too. Diapers do not count as day wear. No matter how hot it is outside at least throw a onsie on for crying out loud.
6. Your nightie. Bedroom wear is for the bedroom. it is not ok to walk to 7-11 in your delicates. No you are not bringing sexy back. You are just giving the store a good laugh.
5. Your wifes pink flip flops. Yes this is for you honey. Stop wearing my shoes out in public. I am glad you are secure in your manhood and all, but you have to draw the line somewhere.
4. If you are a larger figured woman, tights are not for you. I know they are cute and in style, but did you look in the mirror? Cottage cheese should be advertised only in the cold section at the drocery store. I mean a lot of us have it, and I am ok with that, some things are not meant to flaunt.
3. Wigs. I understand some people out there need wigs and look nice and thats ok. If you have a wig made of horse hair and it is bleached blond then it should probably not be worn out. No you don't look cute. Yes we know it's not your natural hair color.
2. Shower caps. I know I already said it but it should be said again. There are all kinds of hats out there that would work, try one.
1. And the number one thing you should not go out in public in..... NO BRA! I am glad that the lord blessed you with big breast. I really am. I however do not want to look at you and think there are two small children fighting under your shirt. Take the extra 2 seconds and put a bra on. You would be suprised at how much niced you look when your ladies are supported :)
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