I like to give really awesome gifts. Even if the only person who thinks they are really awesome is me. I can't always afford to give awesome gifts, but I do try.
So I know a few people having babies. I was thinking of all the showers that will be coming in the future. Pondering what I should give that will make me the most awesome party guest? Then I got to thinking how glad I am not the one pregnant. So glad those days are behind me. I thought it would be funny to write the moms-to-be a top ten list of why I am glad it's them and not me. Then I thought they might not appreciate it, so I'll just post it here.
10. I am using my PrepH for the bags under my eyes not the watermelon growing out of my ass.
9. People don't give me dirty looks when I buy a pack of cigarettes.... HA HA
8. My husband isn't trying to make moves on me because "you can't sleep anyways, mise well"
7. I can say not tonight honey I'm on my period.
6. I don't have to register anywhere.
5. I can punch a stranger for touching my belly without looking like a bitch.
4. I don't have to answer the phone 1.2 million times a day and hear, "you're still pregnant??"
3. I don't have to eat a bottle of tums a day. Wait scratch that I still do.
2. My shoes fit, my pants don't have drawstrings(well the good ones still do ;P), and I can walk around Target without having to take a break.
But the number ONE reason I am glad that it's you pregnant and not me...........
After I have spent all day yelling at my child Morgan, I get to turn to my dear friend Captain Morgan.
Good luck on your upcoming birth......
